Saturday, March 13

5 Things I Don't Understand

Even with nearly half a century's experience, there are still a few things I don't understand.

1. Fondue. I've never, ever understood the appeal. I suppose it's just anorexic city folk's lame substitute for hot dogs and marshmallows roasted over a campfire. Here's my advice: Get a campfire! The food will cook a lot faster and a whole lot more of it will cook at once. The conversations will be better and you can even sing without looking stupid.

2. Why some older houses were built with only one bathroom and that one bathroom is way up on the second floor. Ours was like this until we added a second bathroom. One bathroom up a steep flight of stairs doesn't work for old folks. Doesn't work for young folks either. Or sick folks. I suppose that ours was a military house when it was built might be a partial explanation. But even military people need quick and easy access to the bathroom sometimes.....don't they?

3. Dogs. Why is it that the more nasty something is, the more dogs love to eat it? It probably isn't wise to go into this in any more detail.

4. Cats. Not saying I don't like them, but does anyone ever really understand them?

5. Why every praise and worship chorus must be sung twice. Or more than twice. Is it because the lyrics are so full of depth that we have to sing them twice to get the message, or because the melodies are so difficult that we have to sing them twice to get them right? Unless something changes the second time through, there's no reason to sing it again. Except for when you're fonduing. Then, I suggest you sing them as many times as you want while you wait for your morsel of food to cook. In that case, repetitive songs can only spice things up.